About Me

me, Currently

I am a retired 30 year veteran of the Ontario Fire Service. In 2019 I was diagnosed with severe PTSD/Depression as a result of traumatic events and experiences I was exposed to during my career. My journey also included a very close call with suicide in 2019.  I openly and very publicly share my lived experience to help chip away at the stigma that still exists surrounding 1st responder mental health and suicide. I do this through my mental health education and advocacy efforts, mental health related digital artwork, and peer support with various 1st responder peer support organizations.

“Silence does nothing but strengthen stigma and when we recover loudly, we keep others from dying quietly so speak up, speak out and speak loudly when it comes to all things 1st responder mental health related”

So, not only do I talk the talk, but I also most definitely walk the talk!

I am driven and passionate about helping those who’s organizational roles involve mental health program development. I support all from the lived experience lens. I understand and appreciate the critical importance of being trauma informed in the workplace, and the dire consequences of not being trauma informed.

Me, The past job

I started out my fire service career as a volunteer with Ajax Fire and within 2 years of that, got hired fulltime by Newmarket Fire. Newmarket fire started all new firefighters in dispatch where we single-handedly dispatched 4 different regional fire departments (Newmarket FD, Aurora FD, East Gwillimbury FD and Georgina FD)and answered ALL 911 cell phone calls that used ANY cell tower located in York Region and where the fire department was requested as well as several different after-hours admin lines for the Town of Newmarket, Newmarket Hydro and Newmarket Works dept. As Newmarket FD grew I moved out onto the floor and was assigned to a specific crew and worked my way up to the rank of Acting Captain.

Newmarket Fire and Aurora Fire amalgamated to form Central York Fire Services on January 1, 2002 where within a year of amalgamation I was promoted to Captain and a few years later achieved the rank of Acting Platoon Chief. I ended up taking time off in 2019 to deal with a crumbling personal life which put a hold on my promotion to Platoon Chief which was to occur in 2020. April 1st, 2023 I chose to retire from the fire service as a result of my PTSD diagnosis and the many cognitive deficits that came along with it.

me, The PTSD/depression

In 2018 my life was in chaos with the cause unknown to me at the time. I was continually angry had disturbed sleep, intrusive memories, flashbacks, extreme hypervigilance, extreme startle response, emotional numbness and dissociation to name just a few of the multitude of symptoms I had, many of which I knew nothing about. Until I became educated, I had no idea that some of the things I experienced were actually called “flashbacks”. My wife was getting ready to leave me and my kids walked on egg-shells whenever I was around. I likened my life to what I called Firefighter Jenga just waiting for the whole tower to come crumbling down.

I started weekly therapy in February of 2019 with a very experienced trauma trained psychotherapist who had decades of experience working with first responders. At the time, next to my wife and daughter, my therapist was the 3rd most important woman in my life. I dedicated my life to learning absolutely everything I could about PTSD and depression through podcasts, webinars, reading clinician level books, conferences, picking my therapists brain for understanding and pretty much anywhere there was knowledge and understanding to be had. As some first responders have experienced, the overwhelming pain of the emotional chaos and the feelings of hopelessness and helplessness lead to my suicide attempt in June 2019.

I continued my weekly therapy using a multitude of treatment modalities including CBT, CPT, ACT, EMDR, BA for depression in addition to pharmaceutical medications, equine therapy, ketamine therapy and artwork. It was also during this time I came to learn the absolute importance of peer support. It was because of all that I experienced in my own journey, that lead me to dedicate the rest of my life to mental health education and advocacy, peer support and suicide prevention in the first responder segment of society.

I convey that a PTSD diagnosis is only a life sentence if you let it be and that there is significant post traumatic growth to be had.

Rob Leathen
Rob Leathen
Leathen Educational Services

When We Recover Loudly, We Keep Others From Dying Quietly